How did I get to be the responsible one?

Hello Friday! Well, I feel better now that we’re actually going to look at an apartment. It bugs me that I had to set it up, it would’ve been nice to get some help from Jay with this one… I hate the telephone, especially calling strangers. Apparently, so does he… I’ve just been in too many situations where I had to do stuff for myself because that was the only way to get stuff done, so I’ve had to learn how to deal with irrational fears of people on the phone. (did you know that I’m afraid of the pizza delivery guy?) Oh well, I’m the one who needs to move… Jay’s happy with the little place we’ve got now, I’m the one obsessing about finding a better apartment. I’m tired of settling for something that’s adequate… I want to be able to invite people over and offer them somewhere to sit, and I want to be able to sit at my dinner table for dinner instead of balancing a bowl on my lap as I sit on the couch.

After the apartment stuff is sorted out, I’m getting a webcam. And I have to find some good audio streaming software in the interim. My fingers are a touch sore from playing guitar last night (geez, I’m out of practice!) but if I have people to play for, I have a reason to practice. Yes, I play because I love the sound of an acoustic guitar, and I love the feel of it, and I sing because singing feels so good… but I forget how much I love it until I’m doing it, so I forget to play, forget to practice, and then when I do practice I feel bad because I don’t practice enough, and I’m not as good as I could be… So, I need a reason to practice. Sometimes I think I’m just silly in the way I reason things out.

I should have grabbed money from Jay for lunch. Now I have to buy lunch with my bank card, cuz we forgot to go grocery shopping last night. Jay said he’d go today. His map looks really good, he put up some Screenshots of it, and we did a play test last night. He hasn’t added details yet (ambient sounds, furniture, the Gong) but it’s a good map so far. (by the way, it’s for CounterStrike.) Jay has talent, he has ability, he’s not stupid… I just wish he would apply himself to something, whether it be school, or work, or anything other than staying home all day. It’s so easy not to though… I know that one first hand. It’s easy to coast.