I’ve been wondering for a while about the people I’ve lost.
I don’t mean people who have passed away, like grandparents and such. I mean the people who were my friends that, through my own inaction, have vanished. I don’t know how to find them anymore.
Heather – a friend in high school, she was the short redhead who was in love with Logan from the X-Men… I went to College, she went on an exchange to Australia, when she came back her & her mom moved to Richmond British Columbia… and now I don’t know where they are, and I’m not sure how to find them short of calling everyone with her last name in Richmond. Her brother went to school to study to be a minister. I think the last I heard from her was in 1995. I didn’t keep in touch… and now I’ve lost her.
Wendy – another friend from high school, and another redhead. We were in choir together with Heather… her brother was friends with my brother when we were kids… She moved to Smith’s falls, and I saw her only occasionally, and then I went to college and she was lost too.
Sally – the other member of our little group – she played flute and I called her Celina Marie (that was her name, and she didn’t like it much.) She was in church groups and she was really nice to everyone and she bought me a gourd for my birthday once… it looked like a tiny pumpkin. I gave her a beanbag frog that she named Sniffoos.
The three of us laughed a lot. We acted strange and silly. We had fun. They made high school bearable for me. And now I don’t know where they are…
Marilyn – my friend in grade 7, or 8, or 9 and on… I don’t even remember. She lived in South Mountain, and she and Sally didn’t like each other. When she decided that most of the people in our high school didn’t like her, she changed high schools, and suddenly she was someone, instead of someone people wanted to annoy. She was my friend, we used to put on face masques, and climb trees, and obsess about boys, and go to Rocky Horror together, and she was going to give me some of her ample bosom to supplement my lacking one. I heard a rumour a few years ago that she came to Toronto to go to college… I keep thinking I should look her up, but I don’t know if she’s actually here, if she was ever here, or if she’s gone somewhere else.
Now and then I wonder where people have gone… and why I let them disappear. It’s been 6 years since I left high school, and my friends from there. What keeps me from trying to find them? What would happen if I knew how to start? What if one day they were surfing the net and saw my homepage, or read my journal.
People are there when you need them… and sometimes people are only there for a minute, or a year, or a decade… sometimes they’re gone when you stop paying attention. Maybe they’ll be back. maybe they won’t. So many maybes.
Where are you now?