80’s night in…

Well, I went ‘on the air’ for a little while. I was on IRC too, it was fun. I sang a bit, & played guitar and stuff… then I burnt my finger making dinner – the tip of my L finger. So I’m typing slower, using my fingernail instead of the fingertip.

I’m listening to R.E.O. speedwagon now. I listened to Greg Kihn band earlier, and bangles, and stuff. It was nice. I can sing along with all that stuff.

I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed soon, to make up for being so late last night.

Jay & I had a conversation tonight, when I got home from work. I was having a stress night – where I just want to collapse and give up. So we talked a bit. He’s really depressed about the job thing. I told him to forget about everything that’s already happened (i.e. the last 9 and a half months of joblessness) and just go from here. I don’t think he knew how to take that, he’s used to people just endlessly ranting at him about how bad he is (you know, ex’s, parents, etc.) Well, I’m not them. I see his potential, and I also know that if I push him till he just gets pissed off at me he’ll never do anything and feel good about it. He has to decide to do whatever it is he’s going to do. I don’t know, I think there was some progress with that conversation, but I can’t really say for sure.

Or maybe I’m just too tired for coherence.

2 Comments

  • magicwoman

    May 31, 2000 at 6:37 am

    I Understand!

    I have similar conversations with David. I don’t press him – gee he was in a job he hated for so long. I know if I were him, I wouldn’t want people pressing me hard about being worthless, why can’t you find a job, etc. I feel pretty lucky that his parents and sisters don’t say anything negative to him about it. I guess they figure I am the one in control of the situation here and trust me to take care of business. David just has no idea what he wants to do . . . Not to say that it isn’t frustrating because it is – very much so. I am such a go getter that I find it hard to slow down and just do nothing constructive. I suppose in a perfect dream world everyone could quit working and take a year or more off – to find themselves. Yeah right . . .

    I hope you find the perfect apartment. David and I struggle so much over space. We have so little space and what we do have is premium. Working on getting shelves right now for our books (which right now sit in the middle of the living room floor and in the bedroom in boxes). With no extra money coming in – there will be no moving. I hate being this way – like I am the one making the money – therefore I make all major decisions on how it is spent. Feels so parenty. . .

    • Jenny Lee Silver

      May 31, 2000 at 7:25 am

      Re: I Understand!

      Heh… that’s what I said to Jay last night. I feel like I’m being a mom. I don’t want to be a mom, not yet, and not to him.

      Jay had a horrible job when he met me, he hated it. It was in another city, so when he moved in with me he couldn’t keep it and said good riddance. He tells me that what he really wants to do is go to school, and I’m all for that… he just hasn’t figured out what to study yet. Maybe after our conversation last night he’ll start thinking more seriously about it. I can support him, but he’s got to supply the motivation himself…