Twenty-four years

I’ll be 24 this year. Not until October, of course, but I will be 24. I wonder if this should mean something to me? I don’t feel old or young, I just am. Some days I hurt, some days I’m hyper. Some days I’m tired, some days I feel like I can take on the world. Twenty-four is a number, but I’ve got so many numbers associated with me that this one seems insignificant. I’ve got ICQ numbers, old student numbers, ID numbers for all sorts of work and government related things, numeric passwords, street addresses, streetcar numbers I have to catch to get to work…

There are too many stimuli, I think. I can’t concentrate on anything longer than a few minutes without distraction, because something else will always interfere – and if nothing does, I have to force something, or else Iget bored, and I can’t deal with being bored. Maybe this is why I never finish anything I start, because I’m too used to having multiple stimuli, and many things to concentrate on, so much so that if I try to concentrate on one single thing my brain shuts down and won’t accept it. So I try taking things apart and working on them that way, but that doesn’t work – nothing comes together once I’ve taken it apart.

That’s where mental fragments comes into play. But more on that later.

8 Comments

  • eyean

    June 13, 2000 at 9:08 am

    24. ahhh. what was i when i was 24? god didn’t humble me yet. manny, caloi and i tried to put up a consultancy. it lasted eight months until we each had a fight. i’m still in contact with manny while caloi may be rotting in hell… grrr…

  • jezebel

    June 13, 2000 at 9:24 am

    I turned 24 in January. No big deal. Kinda depressed that I still haven’t graduated from university, but when you can make this kind of money without a degree it kind of removes some of the incentive. I am just counting the months until I turn 25, when my automobile insurance rates will go down.

    • mtbandit

      June 13, 2000 at 2:18 pm

      That was the best part of being 25. Lower insurance.

      My 25th birthday was a bummer not because I was feeling old but because I was living at the time in Outer Bunphuk Egypt and the only people I stayed in touch with were online — which back then meant on BBSes (Bulletin Board Systems for you wee tykes out there… think Internet in microcosm). The closest BBS was 75 miles away which meant I couldn’t talk to anyone without serious outlay of cash. So it wasn’t age that bummed me about being 25. It was having no one to share this quarter century-ness with.

      30 was a bummer because I was 9 years out of college (didn’t graduate) and I had nothing to show for it… no real job, no true idea as to what direction I wanted to move. “I wanna work on computers” was all I’d known for years, but I lacked focus, wasn’t sure which way I wanted to go. Want to program one day (always had a knack for it), want to be a techie another day. Right after I turned 30, I got this job with the State, and finally found my direction: networking.

      When I was 33 it was finally starting to hit me that I’m mortal. That I’m the age at which apparently healthy people fall over from heart attack, get cancer, and all those ugly things. I was seriously depressed for a couple weeks then woke up one day and thought, so what? You don’t have those things now, so *live*. If it happens, it happens. So 35 wasn’t so bad. I’d quit being a hermit and was getting a social life….

      Sorry, I do go on. Anyway, it’s like JennyLee says, numbers. That’s all they are. You’re only as old as you feel, and as the music you listen to. My roommate is ancient even though he’s not 40 yet. Me, I’m still 25.

      • jezebel

        June 13, 2000 at 2:56 pm

        Good choice. Network engineers are yummy.

        • mtbandit

          June 13, 2000 at 7:13 pm

          Well, I always thought so =)
          Three tests away from a CNE Netware. Five away from a double CNE (GroupWise too). Alas, I am Unix challenged, but only because we are a Novell Shop, I am the lone network dude, so I haven’t had time to play much with the Suns. I know enough to make the GIS guys nervous. I was pretty proud of myself when I rebuilt the RAID right before Christmas.

          To my credit (well, I think), I avoid NT like the plague it is.

          But yeah, I love playing with networks.

      • Jenny Lee Silver

        June 13, 2000 at 7:29 pm

        I’m not scared of 24… I don’t really know how to look at it, except that I’d rather have a less boring job. I don’t feel any different though 😉

  • Anonymous

    June 13, 2000 at 3:10 pm

    daruba turns 24

    and get’s pissed off cause he hasn’t made his first million and he’s still slinging bagel sandwiches for fucking yuppies bastards and man, 25 is a suck ass year and grrrr and harumph and then his birthday comes and he turns 25 and realizes he thought he was 25 when he was 24 and shit that means a whole new year to make up for the shit and a weight has lifted cause fuck man he did this before and it was easy.

    • Jenny Lee Silver

      June 13, 2000 at 7:46 pm

      Re: daruba turns 24

      That’s one way to do it… I forget how old I am now, and have to think about it when people ask me. 😉