Hmm. It’s chilly now. This apartment can’t seem to pick a temperature. It was too hot all day, and now it’s getting cool.
Could I go back to being a child? I don’t know, I grew up too fast I think. I can’t seem to delve into a lot of my childhood memories without somehow triggering some sort of unhappy memory tied to it.
I remember the day that I realized that I actually did have fun times with my father. I was tormented by the thought… it was so much easier to just think of it as all bad… but it wasn’t. And that’s so hard to deal with sometimes… and all the happy memories are completely tainted by the completely messed ones. Everything is connected. I wish I could start over from scratch, but it doesn’t work that way.