I need to go out for a tea and conversation with someone I can safely rant to, who won’t judge or advise, who’ll just listen and let me bitch. I.E. a girlfriend… isn’t that what girlfriends are for? Where are they, who can I talk to when I’ve just got to vent without feeling like I have to censor myself? I’m so bad at having / keeping female friendships, partly because circumstances keep me away from friends (How is Vancouver Island, Rachel?) or somehow the relationship becomes awkward or uncomfortable or judgemental because of some sort of tension (how are you doing, Linda?) or there’s just not enough time in any of our lives to be able to get together and go out for a chat or a walk, or even catch up on our lives or do silly girlie things that you just can’t do with a boyfriend (why is life so busy, Monica, Cyn, Belli?)
I guess I’m feeling kind of lonely for girl-type companionship. I know that, in august, I’m going to the Marigoldzine slumber party with the girls from there, and that should be fun, but to be honest it intimidates the hell out of me. After all, I’ve never really been ‘one of the girls’ – I’ve always been one of the guys. The girls didn’t know how to deal wtih me. But once in a while I really just want to be one of the girls, and I want to have girl fun and forget about reality for a while.