I just posted this to the boards in the Kitchen at I have a Secret. Thought I’d put it up here, too…
It’s strange to move… and it’s strange to live in one place. For me, anyhow. I’ve moved about 18 times in my life, and I’m 23 years old. I’m not used to staying in a place for long. Longest I lived anywhere was the farm outside of Iroquois, Ontario.
Well, I’ve lived in this particular apartment that I’m leaving behind for about 18 months now. That’s a long time for me. I wanted to move after one year here, because it’s too small.
I’m really hoping that the new place is a place I’ll be able to call home, a place where I’m not going to want to move again after a few months, a year, whatever… I’m tired of moving.
So why have I moved so many times? My mother used to do this – when things were too much to deal with in a place, we would move. When I wanted life to get better, I would run away and try to start over, and the same life would always follow me. Last time I ran away from a life, it didn’t follow me, and that was the second best move I ever made. (the first was when I left all of my belongings behind me on an bitterly cold January night, walking out on the ex-from-hell.)
So my reasons for moving used to always be to run away. Now, I’m not running away anymore, I’m just trying to build a home, and live my life. I can still feel some of the old expectations in the back of my head, when we move, things will be better and that sort of thing… but if you had lived in this cramped, tiny, dusty, uncomfortable space with another person and two cats for as long as I had, you’d think that too.
How many times have you moved? Do you stay for a while, or move along quickly? Are you searching, like me, to just be at home somewhere, or are you already there? Are you at home wherever you live, or would you rather travel? What motivates you to pack up your life?