I’m being Receptive…

Yes, that’s what I’ll call it… I’m not doing reception, I’m just being receptive. I’m better at it now, not as nervous or anything. I can’t keep track of who wants to be notified of calls and who is happy with just having their calls transferred. I’m trying to keep track of it though. After this, I’m going to go get myself an Earl Grey tea (haven’t tried Lady Grey Tea yet) and a bagel.

I came to the conclusion yesterday that I am showing my usual signs of depression kicking in again. At least I can recognize it now, and do something about it. I told Jay about it, he asked me what would help, so I told him that there were two big things that would make a huge difference: getting a new apartment and having that whole ordeal settled, and him working at a job that has a steady income so that I don’t feel so much pressure on myself all the time. I don’t mind being responsible, I just don’t want to be the only one who is. Anyhow, we talked, (not that we haven’t had the conversation before, but this time it was really getting to me and it was noticeable.)

I’ve been really blah for the past week or so. (Longer, actually, I’ve only been acknowledging it for a week or so.) It’s really tough to feel good about myself when I’m like this… it’s tough to feel good about anything. I certainly haven’t felt good about work in a while (doesn’t help that work is drab, dismal, boring, and tedious,) and I haven’t felt like I have a balanced relationship in a while… I used to, I know that. Balance is a big deal for me, I have to feel balanced or else nothing feels right at all. Maybe it’s my Libra personality… 😉

4 Comments

  • Anonymous

    July 4, 2000 at 8:29 am

    Hello Jenny…

    I really want to help you … but I can?s see how… if I can help..please tell me why.

    Maybe I can help you with something…

    Take care,

    RDS

    • Jenny Lee Silver

      July 4, 2000 at 9:11 am

      It’s okay… I can take care of myself, I just need some stuff worked out with life in general. Things have been a lot worse than they are right now, it’s just that things are really stressful right now. I’m working on it. 🙂

  • lordremo

    July 4, 2000 at 10:26 pm

    Relax,that’s just normal.

    The fact that you’re aware of your condition shows it’s not that serious. You are just stuck in that in-between stage, like a track runner in position waiting for the starting pistol. True, responsibility is a downer… but we all know people who suffer from a lack of that trait. Reinforce yourself with the thoughts of how life will improve once you findthe new place. J’s job situ is surely a temporary fix. Afterall, he wants to impress you just as much as find a decent job. you’re the keeper of his heart!
    Remo

    • Jenny Lee Silver

      July 5, 2000 at 9:07 am

      Re: Relax,that’s just normal.

      No… it’s been serious before, and I remember what that is like, so I’m doing my best to stay out of that situation as much as possible. 🙂