Untitled

From an email I got today…

WORDS TO LIVE BY
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1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race hasn’t achieved, and will never achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”.

3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens … somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

11. Never lick a steak knife.

12. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

13. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe we are above-average drivers.

14. Your friends, and in your case, most of your family love you anyway.

2 Comments

  • zok

    October 7, 2000 at 12:23 am

    Wellll…

    Hrm. I love licking my steak knife. Sure, it bugs the hell out of anyone I’m eating with…

    ..But that steak juice is too good to leave behind!

    • Jenny Lee Silver

      October 7, 2000 at 8:36 am

      Re: Wellll…

      Mmmmm juicy steak………………