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I’m at the exact same place that I was this time last year, except I’m in a different job. I’m questioning my value, I’m questioning what I’m worth, I’m questioning what I want to be doing vs. what I actually do… I don’t even know what I want to be doing, the only thing I can figure out is what I don’t want to be doing. Life keeps going in circles… but really it’s more like spirals – moving outward all the time, but I keep going past the same areas each time around. Small things change, but the story stays the same. If I think about it, then I’m happy that the small things do change, but it doesn’t make me feel much better when I look at my life. It’s not retail anymore, but I feel equally as unfulfilled and unhappy… I’ve got some dreams somewhere locked up and I seem unable to point at them and say “This is what I want,” which is beyond frustrating at times like these. I only know where I don’t want to be… I wish I knew where it was I wanted to be….

1 Comment

  • Anonymous

    October 24, 2000 at 6:06 pm

    ahhhhh

    the joys of the downwards spiral – ‘try to save myself, but myself keeps slipping away.’ 🙂

    I think it’s always discouraging when you try to measure yourself against your past positions and other poor souls as well. isn’t it much more gratifying to ask your heart if you’d made a difference in someone’s life, or altered the world simply by living in it?

    ‘cuz on a grander scale, it’s not the work that you do that matters – it’s the love you show yourself and others (at least, in my opinion)

    -jinx