It’s strange how the despair hits so hard, so suddenly, and feels so different from everything else I feel. It’s overpowering. The physical effects of it are apparent when I think about it – I sort of melt, slouch over in my chair, move slower. I don’t respond to people with full sentences online or irl. I feel quiet, muffled, dense. My heart feels tight, even though it isn’t. My head feels heavy. I get extremely negative about everything. I don’t want to move.