I feel like, since Jay isn’t talking to me at all, hasn’t been on irc at all, hasn’t emailed me at all, I should just disappear.
The hurt comes from being completely ignored yesterday, when other people got to be taken aside to talk to privately. It comes from emails I’ve sent never being replied to. Then from not being informed of what was happening when things got confused. Maybe I should get my own cellphone. Maybe I should stop trying to be friends with girls. It’s been proven to me over and over and over and over again that I can’t do it.
How do I not take it personally when I feel completely ignored?
Monica, I’m sorry. Everyone else, I’m also sorry. Go have fun. I am apparently not fun. In fact, I blow things out of proportion, take too much personally, and am convinced that Jay hates me by now. He must. I’m an idiot. I have been expecting to see him at every event this weekend, and haven’t. I figure he’s avoiding me. There isn’t any other reason for him to skip out on stuff. There’s no one else he needs to avoid.
God forbid I should post my immature, hurt feeling privately. Jesus christ, I even said they were immature. They don’t last forever. But I needed to vent. That’s what that was.
God forbid I should have hurt feelings.