This afternoon, I wandered over to my friend Cal’s place for a low-impact visit. We made pasta and sat around watching TV and just chatting. He’s my adopted uncle, and he has a ballroom at the back of his house. Alas, the ballroom sees very little use… if it had heating, I’d live in there, but it doesn’t. Oh yeah, if he would let me live in there, there’s that part too.

I’m starting to really seriously think about what’s next. There must be something next. I’m twenty-four and I feel like I’m starting from scratch… probably because I am.

I’m trying to remember to put the Cam on again… after the weekend, I haven’t really been remembering to do it, since I didn’t want to make any visitors uncomfortable on the cam or anything. Anyhow, it’s on again now.

I should practice some guitar. I think the hardest part of my trying to work on music stuff is the neverending feeling that I’m going into it completely alone, when everyone else I know is working with someone, or has someone motivating them, or reasons to practice, or something… I have no responsibility except to myself. That always makes it incredibly difficult for me to deal with. Oh yeah, and I really need to invest in a bunch of cassettes, so I can actually put my four track to use. I have so many half-finished songs… I’m tired of half-finished songs. I want to finish one.

I have no responsibility except to myself. *sigh* Some people can deal with motivating themselves. I don’t quite know how they do it, but I think that’s what I have to do. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, it’s a lonely place to be sometimes, but if it’s the only way to do it, then it’s the path I take.

Where is that song about paths that Adam wrote?


  • Anonymous

    April 27, 2001 at 1:33 pm

    Hmmm ….

    adopted uncle

    … thank you for the nice thought 🙂

    And I had a really nice, no-stress, time. Perhaps we can do it again sometime? 🙂


    P.S. You also forgot that the ballroom lacks facilities – and – where would I practise my tango? 🙂

    • Anonymous

      April 28, 2001 at 2:10 pm


      Hey Cal since when are you ever stressed out?