I said I would explain it later, and it’s now later. Today was a whole lot of fun, all around. I slept until noon, and woke up with a cat lying on my legs and another on my shoulder. I love them dearly.
After I’d been up for a while, Belli asked me if I wanted to go to Value Village with her and two of her friends. For those who don’t know what Value Village is – it’s the best used clothing department store EVER, and this weekend was 50% off sale weekend. I considered for a couple of minutes, then decided to join them, and got myself dressed.
We drove out to the Value Village on Victoria Park out in Scarborough, Belli and Missy and Lisa and I. The store was a mess… it looked like a mob had assaulted the place, torn it to pieces. There were clothes scattered everywhere, hanging half-way off their hangers, lying on the floor in piles under the clothing racks. It was madness and chaos.
We started making our way through the store, aisle by aisle. When we reached the dresses aisle, Lisa and Missy started pulling out old prom dresses… the style people might have worn in the 80s. Purple, pink, red, maroon, blue, with false sleeves and poofs and frills and folds in the fabric. We were all having a great laugh over it, when Lisa said to me, “I’ll give you a dollar for every one of these dresses that you try on.”
Without pause, my reply was, “I’m poor enough to take you up on that offer!” So they started dumping the world’s worst formal dresses into the shopping cart.
We got to the changerooms and lined up for a turn. I went in, armed with formal dresses from hell and horrible coloured high-heeled shoes to match. I was wearing white socks that came half-way up my calves, and I haven’t shaved my legs or arms in months so my legs were less than smooth and satiny.
The first dress was blue and strapless and frilly all down the front. It fit okay, except that it was a little bit tight. The second one was maroon and strapless and way too tight across the back – we had to leave it mostly unzipped, but hooked up the hook at the top, so it looked like a big open oval in the middle of my back. It was definitely too small. The next one I tried on was the red dress, and it fit just right. I put on the coral-coloured shoes with it (complete with my white sport socks) and paraded around in it for Belli, Missy and Lisa. They laughed at me for a bit, then Lisa said, “I’ll pay you 10$ if you wear that one home…”
Me being hyper, in a highly amused frame of mind, and completely without pride (it was Scarborough!! who cares how they look in Scarborough??) I said, “SOLD!”
I tried on one more dress after that, a purple and black strapless with detached sleeves that I needed a much larger chest to accomodate. The red dress was, by far, the best of them… it was shiney, it was strapless, it was short, it had ruffles, and it just fit SO WELL…
There were people around the dressing room area who kept complimenting me on the dress… and they were serious about it. We could barely keep straight faces. In the lineup at the cash register, I was still wearing the dress, and an old woman in line behind us asked me if I was going somehwere special today that I was wearing that dress… and again, she was TOTALLY serious. The cash register guys understood what was going on, though, and they played along with us… it was great fun.
Next, Missy and Lisa had to go into the pet store to pick up some petstuff, so Belli and I stood outside, since she needed a smoke. There I stood, decked out in the red dress, as people wandered past me in the plaza. I got puzzled stares, outright neck-bending looks from everyone who wandered past. Belli said to me, “You look like Cyndi Lauper in that.”
Finally, we got back in the car. I was a little cold, the dress doesn’t really cover much and it was chilly out today.
As promised, after we showed Belli’s husband the dress (the shocked look on his face was worth the price of admission,) they paid me what they had promised for my complete lack of pride. Or whatever it is… I’m more proud of the fact that I had the nerve to parade around in that dress in public than anything else, really. And hey, that’s definitely an easy way to make $13.00…