Untitled

I hate the real world. Most of the time I just want to leave it all behind. Not that I know where I would leave for… Vancouver maybe. Live with mom. I miss her.

I almost don’t care anymore. If it wasn’t for my responsibility to other people, I think I would just give up. There’s just no point.

When I consider just how much time people have to spend working, it seems a complete mystery to me how people can work at something that doesn’t satisfy them in some way. And yet I can’t understand why I have so many days that feel like this… despair. Absolute despair that nothing will ever work. And hopelessness.

Too many people keep telling me that you have to put in your time doing things you hate before you’re allowed to be happy, or whatever… that this is what real life is about. I guess seven years worth isn’t enough. Maybe by the time I’m fifty things might be worthwhile.

Fuck real life. I want out. There is no point to any of this. I’m so tired of lying.

11 Comments

  • humberguy2000

    July 20, 2001 at 7:04 am

    Well, you’re not the only one that feels like this. Let’s see…I’m 27, and I’ve done little except go to school, and college, and not really do anything with it. I’ll still be working in factories, wearing myself out, in the near future.

    Sad isn’t it? I keep wondering when the rewards for hard work and perseverance will come.

    • Anonymous

      July 20, 2001 at 7:11 am

      It is sad.

      Nothing comes to you. You have to go take it.

      Why wait for what you want? Just go get it!
      The world does not owe you a thing, it is up to you to decide what you deserve, and crave.

      • humberguy2000

        July 20, 2001 at 7:12 am

        Re: It is sad.

        Why post anonymously? I’d like to know who this is.

  • humberguy2000

    July 20, 2001 at 7:50 am

    Hey there. I hate it to when people lecture me in here sometimes…:)

  • strange

    July 20, 2001 at 8:00 am

    From all accounts it seems like everyone is having a completely shit summer, year, whatever. There is nothing I can say except that, yes life does appear to be a cruel joke sometimes and I don’t have much to prove otherwise.

    Despite my horrible luck with relationships I’ve had it very easy these past five years, now that everything has fallen to pieces and I have no idea how to start picking them, I’m feeling dead discouraged too. This wasn’t supposed to be my life.

    But… if these things weren’t supposed to be our lives. What the hell was?

    *hugs*

  • ginamoog

    July 20, 2001 at 8:11 am

    I feel ya Jennylee.
    You just gotta keep going.
    Sometimes it takes time. Yes, I know you’re sick of hearing that.
    Hang in there.
    *hug*

  • mazikeen

    July 20, 2001 at 9:38 am

    I am so sick of being a responsible grown-up. I think we should all just run away to bora-bora and be turtle farmers. Or something.

    (and what IS it with this summer being a PITA for so many people?)

  • jcaswell

    July 20, 2001 at 12:50 pm

    No lectures…

    …just a great big *hug*

  • bob

    July 20, 2001 at 4:58 pm

    you and me kid, gotta find ‘work’ that is ‘fun’…

    i have ben told it exists

  • legionuk

    July 20, 2001 at 7:47 pm

    I am an impatient sod who can’t wait for Christmas…
    ..Ok crummy metaphor, life is on the turn for me but i still can’t help stamping my feet with impatience somtimes. Then I realize what i’m doing and laugh.. perhaps thats the nature of us all… i hope not… or maybe its too late at night and ive had too much tea.
    ..so i will grin inanely at you until you either grin back or run away quickly……….
    …….wooo you can run fast :>

  • ex_oki86

    July 23, 2001 at 1:37 am

    Real World – Matchbox 20

    “I wonder what it?s like to be the rainmaker
    I wonder what it?s like to know that I make the rain
    I?d store it in boxes with little yellow tags on everyone
    and you can come see them when I?m…done, when I?m done.
    I wonder what it?s like to be a super hero
    I wonder where I?d go if I could fly around downtown
    from some other planet, I get this funky high on yellow sun
    boy I bet my friends will all be…stunned, they?re stunned.

    (chorus)
    Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here
    if I were someone else, would this all fall apart
    strange, where were you, when we started this gig,
    I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me.

    I wonder what it?s like to be the head honcho
    I wonder what I?d do if they all did just what I said
    I?d shout out an order, I think we?re out of this man get me some
    boy don?t make me wanna change my…tone, my tone.

    (chorus)

    Please don?t change, please don?t break
    the only thing that seems to work at all is you
    please don?t change, at all from me
    to you, and you to me.

    (chorus) “

    If you’re tired of lying, then stop lying. Stand up (for yourself). =>