I’m used to being broke

Wow. Actually managed to sleep for 8 hours last night. First time I’ve done that in about a week and a half. This cold/flu thing isn’t kicking my ass quite as hard today as it was on the weekend. Still not feeling great, though… still feel wiped out, sniffly, sneezy, and woozy, but not feverish anymore.

Pay wasn’t as much as I thought it would be. Might still have to sell something after all. Ahh well, no big deal. I’ll work something out. Too bad I don’t look like a backstreet boy… according to NOW!‘s classifieds, they’re auditioning lookalikes for a bsb “tribute” band. Heh.

I think I’m getting too used to this lifestyle. Not to say that I like it… but I’m used to it. It makes it hard to be social, though, since I can’t spend any money, which means I can’t go out at all, which means that people have stopped inviting me. After all, it’s not like anyone ever comes over to my place anymore… I can’t even offer to cook anything for them. I can barely afford to spend extra transit money on going out to things that are free. This will change someday. I know it will. In the meantime, I’ll keep eating my rice and pasta. It’s just like being a poor student or a starving artist, except that I don’t have the benefits of learning, and I’m not creating any sort of art at all. I’m just useless. I know I could be worse off, and I’m not panicking or upset about it all. It’s just disheartening, I guess. It wears me out.

Doesn’t take much to wear me out. I’m like a sponge for the moods of people around me at the best of times. After this past week, I’ve become an emotional zombie. It’s not that I don’t feel… it’s just that I feel undead.

2 Comments

  • lunastar32

    September 18, 2001 at 7:09 pm

    “I’m like a sponge for the moods of people around me at the best of times.”

    Wring yourself out and get some new water.

    • falkirk

      September 19, 2001 at 4:24 am

      I hope you’re feeling better.
      Get Well Soon.
      *think Hallmark*
      *hug*