I rather dislike watching Adam leave when he’s loathe to go… Stupid fake job. There isn’t even any sort of assurance that he’ll get paid. It’s so frustrating, but we don’t know what else to do. We could leave the city, except that this thing I’m starting now is something with a future… I don’t feel like starting all over from ground zero again, it took me five years to get a job I enjoyed in the first place, let alone one with a future.
Still, it seems like actually being able to survive is out of our reach. With adam doing door-to-door canvassing, and me only working part time, the only way we manage is to go further into debt, which we can’t afford to do either. This city is stupid, but I can’t leave yet. I’m just worried that Adam will give up on it and I’ll be left here by myself… not that I think it’ll happen, but it might… it just might. It’s just entirely disheartening. I don’t know how we live day-to-day, let alone thinking a few months ahead. I guess I have to start worrying about July’s rent now.
Sad thing is, Adam would do any work at all right now that paid a salary. He’s applied at coffee shops and stores all over the place. It’s part of that whole experience/employment problem. Can’t get a job without experience, even in retail. Can’t get experience without the job. Businesses don’t take chances. It’s tiring and he’s frustrated… and I’m just sad. I want him to be happy.