Untitled

Dayle has been meowing at the door for weeks now. He rushes out into the breezeway every chance he gets, hoping it will lead to the great wonderful world of freedom. Sometimes I wish I had never let him out in the first place… I can’t let him out here, living on the highway makes it too dangerous.

These days I feel a lot like Dayle. I’m sitting at a window staring off into this huge world of things to see and explore and people to play with and so on, but I can’t get out there. I don’t have the means to open that window and do anything beyond see what I can see from here. I feel so housebound… and even if we had some money, there is absolutely nothing to do in this town, and none of my friends are here to hang out with.

Not to say that I regret moving up here, because I know for a fact that we couldn’t afford rent in Toronto, and we couldn’t do anything about that fact. Living that far below the poverty line just doesn’t make for a very healthy lifestyle. At this point, though, we’re starting to feel completely stuck. We can’t go anywhere without money. We can’t get work up here, partially because there is none and partially because we don’t plan on staying here, so starting a job wouldn’t be in our best interests anyway. At this rate, though, we’ll move to the first place that offers us a real job. The question is, do we wait for something to eventually come up in Toronto, or do we take something in Vancouver or wherever.

Besides which, the only place I’d feel reasonably comfortable working at has an age restriction in place for their part-time summer help wanted – they want a student 18-24. I’m too old. And quite probably both over and under qualified. Frustrating. Everything right now is just entirely frustrating.

I hate being bored so very, very much.