I’ve watched on average 10-12 hours of television every day this week. I hate tv. I feel dirty.

It’s good friday, which means virtually nothing to me other than the fact that all the stores and businesses in town are closed due to holidayness.

I wanted to play some guitar and stuff yesterday or today, but it’s too frustrating to not be able to sing.

I want internet back. Not this fake thing that pretends to be the internet but is really just a poor substitute for the real thing. I also wish it was summer, because at least if it was summer I could flee to Temagami with a canoe when boredom strikes this hard. I’ve pretty much been without a computer for most of the four months I’ve lived up here. I’ve been sick for at least a month and a half of that time. I’ve watched more tv this week alone than I’ve watched in four years. I’m turning into someone I really don’t like much. I’m trying not to talk about it because it’s basically pointless to do so, but I’m starting to wonder if never mentioning anything about it is making it worse because I’m just internalizing now.

I miss instant messaging programs and IRC. That connected feeling helps me out a lot more than one would think.

Guess I’ll go watch some tv.


  • laquira

    April 18, 2003 at 11:06 am

    If I could give you internet..
    you’d have internet.

  • highlearn

    April 18, 2003 at 12:11 pm




    Dial up internet being routed over a common dsl/cablemodem router.


    A dial up router. More expensive, but more likely to actually work (I’m not 100% on my first solution, though it would be cheaper).

    Barring all that, if the pc with a modem has a second nic, windows xp has internet sharing (Which is crap but sort of works) built in.

    • Jenny Lee Silver

      April 19, 2003 at 10:10 am

      The problem’s more the fact that we can’t get highspeed on this lot because they haven’t upgraded the lines yet. The dialup problem is mainly that the only phone line that will connect at higher than 28.8 is on the complete opposite side of the house from our computers. The other phone line is the primary voice line, and Adam’s parents seem to like using the phone during the day… freaks. 😉 So we’ve occasionally done the internet sharing on XP (which, I agree, is crap but sort of works) on rare occasions very late at night connected at about 26.6 or so at the best of times, and as far as I know the router we have can do dialup, but it’s not really worth it since the only time we could be online is after midnight or so, and then at speed that are incredibly pathetic.

      We’re about 500 feet from the phone line building. Bastards.

      • highlearn

        April 19, 2003 at 12:11 pm

        If you’re that close to the CO, even on antiquated lines you could probably run dsl, though they would need to have a DSLAM there.

        • Jenny Lee Silver

          April 19, 2003 at 6:42 pm

          Yeah, we told them something like that and they said “Oh, no, there’s nothing at all we can do” in many different ways.

          I hate sympatico. Still.

  • ashkitty

    April 19, 2003 at 2:44 am

    Well then, what do we need to do to get you internet?

    I know the feeling you’re describing, the slow fall into becoming a person you don’t like much, but at least you’ve caught it in time.

    It’s getting closer to summer.

    And you know you can always drag along that boyfriend of yours and come out to my house. 😉 (well, you could come by yourself too if you wanted, as I’m starting to wonder if perhaps he doesn’t really exist… *g*)

    • Jenny Lee Silver

      April 19, 2003 at 10:06 am

      We need for Northern telephone to upgrade the phones lines so that DSL will work at this house. We’ve complained to Northern Tel a few times about it as a home and on behalf of the business here… nothing’s really happened yet, but it might still. We’re the only lot in town that can’t get high speed internet.

      I’d love to drag us out to your house, but I’d guess it’s a pretty long walk… 😉