My family and I aren’t particularly close to each other. Some of my siblings I haven’t actively spoken to in a couple of years. Some I only talk to online every six months. I generally kid about my family and their issues, just to help me feel better about it I guess.
Unfortunately sometimes, that’s partly a facade, and sometimes when things happen to some of them I can’t help but feel it. And sometimes it hits pretty close to home.
My little brother’s in the hospital at the moment. His previously broken back (broken about five years ago) has been acting up lately, I’m told, which has lead to him falling into psychosis and depression.
The thing is, while I constantly kid about how my brother is crazy (and don’t get me wrong, I still think he is – jumping off bridges and other such feats require some level of insanity, I’d say) he’s also the one sibling I feel closest to, emotionally. I feel as though we’ve got the most in common, somehow. We’ve both been through some craziness, we both speak candidly to each other about it (which I’ve never felt I could do with the rest of my family) although I have yet to tell him exactly what went on with my father and I. I’ve been waiting until I see him in person, rather than mentioning it in an email or something lame like that.
I guess I might say that he’s as depressed and psychotic as I could have been, in a sense, had I not dealt with crap when I did. And that’s what’s hitting me right now. That, and I want to go see him. I’ll send him some mail, I guess – I don’t imagine the hospital will allow calls into a room after 11:45pm.
Whatever. I’m awake and thinking too much.