I slept and slept and slept and woke up feeling as groggy as ever. I’ve had lunch now, though, so I do feel a bit better. I think I need another cup of tea.

The shipping company lost my guitar, but it’s been found again, and they should be dropping it off tomorrow. I miss it. I was listening to some of the songs Adam’s recorded over the years (some of which I sing on) and thinking about how much I want to be singing right now. I haven’t in a long while, and singing makes me feel hopeful. I’m so tired these days, a little hope would be incredibly helpful.

I got a Paper yesterday to look for apartments – there are finally some available for our timeframe. Still not sure what area we want to live in, although now that I’m looking at going to Capilano College next year I may consider the North Shore area pretty seriously.

I am realizing, however, that it’s quite probably that I need to make more money than I’m currently making. Considering I’m at minimum wage (which is higher than Ontario’s minimum wage, but still less than I’ve made per hour in 7 years or more,) and knowing that I am more valuable than that, it’s just a matter of figuring out if the benefits of working on the mountain (and there are some good ones) outweigh the potential shortage in income.

The issue is, I just don’t know how many hours Adam will be getting. He doesn’t have any sort of guarantee on hours. He may get plenty of hours, or he may get shafted. It’s impossible to say right now. I don’t want to be in the situation we were in a few years back, when we moved into an apartment expecting to be making X amount of money per month, and then both of us had hours cut back, or were laid off, and we were forced to break our lease and move to a smaller, less expensive place, which we eventually had to give up to move up north with Adam’s parents. I don’t want to end up like that again. It’s too difficult, and I’m too old for that crap. I would like to get on with my life now, that was kind of the point of coming out here. And I can’t do school until September, so I have to work between now and then, plus there’s a wedding to save up for.

All of these things weigh heavily on my mind.

I guess I’ll make myself a chart.

Pros/Cons of working @ Grouse
Pros Cons
  • Location
  • Barely enough money to live on
  • Free ski pass
  • No room for advancement
  • Free helijet trip
  • Lack of appreciation (for all retail staff, not personally)
  • Industry related to what I want to study
  • It’s only vaguely related, and I’m doing retail which is generally sucky
  • Staff discount
  • Lack of job satisfaction
  • Already have this job
  • Erratic and changing scheduling
  • Poor communication
  • Too many things to think about. I’ll just have to wait and see either what happens in the next few weeks. Or something.