Purpose…

Purpose, it’s that little flame
that lights a fire under your ass
Purpose, keeps you going strong
like a car with a full tank of gas…

Everyone has a purpose, so what’s mine?

So yeah. I spend my days at work in production looking at my co-workers, wondering if they feel like I do. I’m pretty sure my mother doesn’t, she’s been doing basically the same type of job for as long as I can remember, without seeming to feel any of the dissatisfaction I get out of it. Not that I hate the job, because I don’t, but I feel completely pointless doing the work, and I can’t seem to mentally and emotionally handle that sort of feeling. There must be plenty of people who can, because there are certainly a lot of people with that type of job, and they go home at night and do whatever they do at home and don’t question themselves the way I am right now. The way I have been for a couple of weeks.

I would very much like to find a job that at least has me using my skills. I would like even more to have a job in the industry I plan to pursue. I would like the most to have that and be making enough to live on and save for a wedding and school with.

The compromise is currently that I have a job. Not making enough to save. Making just enough to live on, maybe, but it’s a temp job that goes away when I move. And it’s a job that doesn’t use any of my skills at all. I feel like a trained monkey. Seriously. A trained monkey could do this, probably better than we could. Then again, they’d probably be too smart to want to bother…

I was happier watching Mamma Mia 8 times a week.

Everyone’s a little bit unsatisfied
Everyone goes ’round a little empty inside
Take a breath, look around
Swallow your pride,
for now….

Nothing lasts, life goes on full of surprises
You’ll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes
You’re going to have to make a few compromises
For now….