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I got a call this morning asking if I could cover a shift for someone today, and although I need the hours, I determined that my health is more important right now. As such, I stayed home to try and get over this weird cold bug thing. I don’t think I’m going anywhere today, and probably not tomorrow either. Must be better for work Tuesday. The outfitters shop on the mountain (where I would have been working today) has this door directly to the outside that everyone uses to come in and out, and the draft is quite nasty and cold. Not good for sickies.

Two days ago the windows 95 startup sound popped into my head and wouldn’t go away. It made me nostalgic for Harper’s Tale, because the windows 95 startup sound was used by Zmud when it connected, so that’s what I associated it with. Not that I was ever nearly as popular as Adam was at it. I had my couple of close friends I would try to seek out, but once I lost my computer to the grand break-up of 1997, everything just went away and I couldn’t be there anymore. Those were the days when I had friends I talked to about everything… these days I’m so obsessed with not burdening anyone with my problems that I never talk about them to anyone, really. I hate to be a burden on anyone, and I don’t want to bring anyone down.

I’m introspective today, I guess. It’s no solution locking all this stuff up, but here I am doing just that. And all it took was one friend, one time, a long time ago, telling me not to talk about my problems to her anymore because she didn’t want to have to deal with them. I can be so all-or-nothing sometimes. I know it’s ridiculous of me, but that rejected part of me doesn’t want to deal with that again.

My kitties love me.

3 Comments

  • kimberly27616

    January 16, 2005 at 12:05 pm

    “Those were the days when I had friends I talked to about everything… these days I’m so obsessed with not burdening anyone with my problems that I never talk about them to anyone, really. I hate to be a burden on anyone, and I don’t want to bring anyone down.”

    You know who this reminds me of? Emma. And since I know you and Emma are close friends maybe you would find some comfort in talking with her.

    Of course, I’m always here to listen too, but it just struck me as a very Emma-like thing to say. I know myself that it often helps to talk things through, especially when life is tough and changing. You have a lot of that going on and so does she. 🙂 Good luck!

  • ashkitty

    January 16, 2005 at 2:35 pm

    It made me nostalgic for Harper’s Tale…

    Dude, that’s been happening to everybody! Something in the air, or something….