I dreamed about most of humanity dying a painful, sudden death, except for Adam and I who somehow managed not to catch the nasty instantaneous virus by hiding on the roof of the airport (?) Yeah I don’t get it either.
Anyhow, we later wandered into the country, mostly finding dead disgusting bodies everywhere, till we found a nice gigantic farmhouse with a whole bunch of dogs. We moved into the house and took care of the dogs. Occasionally we would see another person or two, but for the most part humanity had been wiped out. It was very peaceful.
I have recently been audience to some immaturity of the sort that I can only compare to the ninth, or perhaps tenth grade. It was accompanied by a web of lies that was so easily unraveled that it was laughable, and yet the one spinning the web refused to let go and accept that they were caught in it. All of this made me think about the days long ago when I would try to do the same – I can remember being maybe fourteen or fifteen and telling a lie that got me caught up so badly that I barely wanted to leave my bedroom in shame. When I was young I think I lied like that frequently, trying to make myself more important, more interesting, or just to get some attention. It rarely went well, and often backfired on me in terrible ways. I don’t remember the details anymore, just the feelings I had then – the feelings of inadequacy that made me lie, followed by the extreme self-loathing once I had dug myself too deep to get out.
The last time it happened, some sort of switch in my brain went off and I made a sudden, conscious decision to just stop lying. From that moment on, when I started to feel the urge to tell one of my compulsive lies, I would stop myself and just say nothing. Occasionally I get the urge even today to say I am capable of something when I’m not, or say I’ve done something when I haven’t, but that switch is still flipped, and I am extremely conscious of every word I say because of it.
Not to say that I don’t lie – I am no saint, I will stretch the truth for the sake of embellishment, or tell lies that don’t really have impact on anything (like, say, telling Adam when he phones me that I already started the laundry, when in fact I haven’t yet and completely forgot to do so.) I just don’t tell compulsive lies that can’t be backed up and will ultimately lead to complete shaming when I am found out. I can still remember that self-inflicted humiliation (no one else remembered it after it happened, but I obsessed for months afterwards.) I would like to avoid that feeling, thank you.
I have updated the most recent Photo a Day Project photos. The laser one from yesterday was fun.
After biking on Saturday in Squamish with Lorne & Adam, we rented a bike for my little brother Chris and took him out biking in Burnaby and Port Moody. I took a few photos of the muddy first-riding joy. He had a blast, I think.
Tomorrow, the last day of May, marks the 6 month and half-way mark of my Picture a Day Project. I am thrilled to have lasted this long. Six more months to go!
I’ve been working on my new site, and it’s starting to pull itself together, bit by bit. Hopefully soon it will be done and I can put it live. That will be splendid.
We went to Squamish today and rode some nice cross-country trails – part of the Test of Metal track, a 67 km cross-country mountain biking race. We did not ride 67 km.
It was a really great section of trail. We rode up for a long while, but it wasn’t steep and we managed just fine without exhausting ourselves. The ride down the trails was curvy, fast, and smooth – a whole lot of fun, really. I’m ready to go back to Squamish tomorrow.
I took a few pictures and then handed my camera off to Lorne, who was riding with us. They can be seen in the photo journal.
I’ve also caught up with posting my Picture a Day Project.
I think we might go riding again tomorrow if we can.
I finally lost a pound. Go me!
My journal turned six years old earlier this month – on May 4th, to be precise. In honour of that, and because I missed it, I think I’ll do a look back over the years in my lj (inspired by scottobear, really.)
One year ago today: I was looking for a dress & shoes for the wedding.
Two years ago today: I liked Shrek 2, played six hours of Dynasty Warriors, and complained about my lungs and being sick.
Three years ago today: Adam and I were actually at the cottage for our last visit there before it was sold, so no update the day of, but one a few days later – photography revelations, black flies and spider bites, and taking pictures of Morla sleeping on a crazy side-road adventure in Huffy, back before Huffy was our car, and before Huffy was called Huffy.
Four years ago today: I got a makeover at the Elmwood Spa. That was the best haircolour I ever had.
Five years ago today: Mostly just coming down from the original Temagami life-changing experience trip ™, and filled with fear and doubt and all sorts of other things. I was definitely in a state of transformation at the time.
Six years ago today: I started the day really annoyed, had only $4.00 for lunch and got a bagel with soup, had one of my WomenGamers.com articles posted, called about apartments, and was in the evening once again really annoyed (with good reason both times, now that I look back.)
The song that is currently playing is apparently my work Itunes favourite song.
I leave you for bed now, but first a recent photo of me, taken by Adam.
Adam & I went on a road trip for the long weekend with my brother Chris and our friend Tara. We intended to go to a cabin in 100 Mile House (a town in central BC) but ended up going a very scenic route to Kamloops instead, through 100 Mile House. it was a whole lot of fun, but I will write details later.
In the meantime, there are, of course, Road Trip Photos to be viewed.
And as always, i have updated the Picture a Day Project for your viewing pleasure.
I’m up to date with the Picture a Day Project, which is good because I don’t really feel like taking a picture at 11 again tonight. Those ones are always a bit lacking.
Today’s picture is a self-portrait. I look like a schoolmarm or something. Or at least I have my hair back and glasses on.
A headache started last night around 7:30 or so. I tried to do some work on Adam’s computer, but I got annoyed and my head was really hurting, so I gave up and went to watch Adam play Kingdom Hearts II. He stopped playing a few minutes later, and went to call his mom, so I played through a level of the game, which didn’t really help the headache any, but hey. After I finished the level I wandered into the bedroom and lay down in the dark. It didn’t take me long to fall asleep, and then I slept straight through until Adam came to bed. I think I got eleven hours of sleep last night.
Unfortunately, this had no impact on the headache, which I still have.
I did get up when Adam came to bed so I could go take a random picture of something for the PaD. Since I was mostly asleep when I did it, I can imagine that the picture will be… well, pretty boring I think. Ah well. I will post it later.