Only memories, fading memories, blending into dull tableaux

All I’ve listened to all day is Barenaked Ladies. I get in these moods, usually with BNL, Great Big Sea, or Blue Rodeo, where I will listen to their entire catalog (or as much of it as I own – I am behind on a few Blue Rodeo and GBS cds, sadly.) Great Big Sea is playing tomorrow and Saturday. I will miss it, much as I missed Blue Rodeo last weekend. This whole ‘saving money so we have some to spend when family is here’ thing is mildly annoying this week.

There is a package at the post office for me in my pre-married name. I have no idea who it’s from. Maybe my sister?

I have been moody and unhappy much of the week. Excluded from this is last night when I went Kayaking with Aaron from work – I can’t be unhappy when I’m paddling around in the ocean and hanging out with seals, really. Tuesday was a miserable night for me, my moodiness made me snap at Adam a couple of times for no real reason, which ultimately ended up with him going to bed to get away from me. I was up half the night feeling sick with remorse, mostly, and hating myself. Hooray. Monday I was just kind of feeling blah and unhappy for no reason, although I didn’t get angry like on Tuesday. All day yesterday I was kind of melancholy until we went kayaking after work.

I was going to back out of kayaking because I didn’t think I should spend the money, but when I considered just how bad my mood was, I decided to go anyway. Fortunately for me I found some cash I hadn’t accounted for in my purse, which meant that really the kayaking didn’t cut into the budget at all. That was nice.

Tomorrow is suddenly Friday. It is also suddenly September 1st, which means our first wedding anniversary is on Monday the 4th, and my 30th birthday will be a mere month away. Does 30 mean something? Should it? I don’t really know. I don’t plan to spend the day in tears (as one friend of mine does every year… but she’s kinda weird that way.)

Speaking of weird friends, Tara is back on Monday. She’s been gone for a month, and we miss her.

I wish I could place why I feel this moody dull depression this week. I’m lethargic and sad and angry at nothing half the time. I don’t want to go to work in the morning, I don’t want to go home in the evening, I just sort of want to wander aimlessly. Taking pictures for the Picture a Day project this week has been painful – I haven’t felt like even pulling the camera out. I didn’t take it kayaking, ostensibly because I didn’t want to get it covered in salt water; the thing is, though, I didn’t even bring it in the car and take pictures in Deep Cove before and after kayaking. That’s odd for me.

Sometimes at work the wrong number people are REALLY STUPID. (I get a lot of wrong number callers, our phone number is nearly identical to stupid Bodog’s. And by a lot, I mean about 50 a day at least.)

Me: Good Afternoon, XYZ Software, how can I direct your call?
Caller: Is this Bodog?
Me: No I’m sorry, you have a wrong number, you’ve reached XYZ Software.
Caller: … I have a wrong number?
Me: That’s right, this is XYZ Software.
Caller: … XYZ Software?
Me: Yes.
Caller: … … Oh. *click*

Fifteen seconds later…

Me: Good Afternoon, XYZ Software, how can I direct your call?
The Same Caller: Oh, nevermind. *click*

Ten seconds later…

Me: Good Afternoon, XYZ Software, how can I direct your call?
The Same Caller: *click*

4 Comments

  • meisterdorf

    August 31, 2006 at 10:37 pm

    Last time i was in Vancouver, I had the privilage of seeing GBS in the Orphiem Theatre. The building itself was an awesome piece of architecture, and the concert was wonderful.

  • Jenny Lee Silver

    August 31, 2006 at 10:49 pm

    I like the Orpheum, I saw Blue Rodeo there last year, it’s a lovely place.

  • _devin_

    August 31, 2006 at 11:44 pm

    XYZ Software?

    Ohhh, ohhhh, ohhh! Did you say software? Does your company every hire any programmers? I have a Computer Science degree and am unemployed in my field! hahaha Sorry for my shameless self-promotion, especially in light of your not feeling good and experiencing depression. * blush *

    Anyway, I should say that I went back to school in my late 20’s and 30’s and I encourage you to go back since you are at a point when you would appreicate it! As for your sad feelings I have no idea because I am no psychologist. But my best intuitive stab is that when life is kind of blah and just keeps on going without changing in a direction we want it to go it can get under our skin! Or I could be completely wrong!

    In any case, I hope you feel better soon. How is your website going by the way? You said you have people already helping you out but if you need extra or different help please contact me! Thanks!

  • Jenny Lee Silver

    September 1, 2006 at 4:59 am

    Re: XYZ Software?

    The company does hire from time to time, although at this point they’re most likely not looking for programmers. Just hired two about three months ago.

    I would very much like to get back to school, just trying to figure out a way to get money together to do so. I don’t have the most high-paying job in the world, so I’m trying to supplement with photography stuff, but that’s what I want to do school for, so it’s an interesting little circle, and so far it hasn’t worked that well yet. I need more contacts or something, and maybe marketing knowledge – both of which can be acquired through school. Catch 22.

    The website mostly works, you can see it at jennyleesilver.com – the only problem is that the Paypal add to cart dropdown menus will change the price of an item, but not the item number, which means that I have to figure out what size/type that people ordered by the price it sends me. It’s a bit of a pain. One of the programmers at work gave me some code that might fix it, but I looked it over and had no clue how to implement it. I’m no programmer, after all.