I’m really struggling with feeling sorry for myself right now. That is to say, I’m feeling sorry for myself and pretending that I’m not. Except I’m pretty bad at that sort of pretending.
Friends keep moving away. I don’t have a lot of friends. Other friends keep saying they’re going to move here, then not doing so, to the point that I no longer think about the concept because it’s likely not going to happen, and even if it does it’s a far away thing. Except Ian & Kim who say they’re moving here this spring or summer. I think they’ll follow through.
Well anyhow. They have their reasons to move, and none of it has anything to do with me, but that doesn’t make me feel less sad. I’ve been feeling rather lonely lately, and this exodus is just adding to that. And so I sit here feeling sorry for myself. Soon it’ll just be me and Adam and Chris and Jinni on Friday nights. And Jinni refuses to play Munchkin.
Anyhow. I’m feeling sorry for myself. I suck at making friends. I suck at maintaining friendships. I’m terrible at parties and meeting people. I’m perpetually convinced that no one really wants to spend time with me because I’m boring or I’m bad at conversation or something. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I’m just feeling sorry for myself.