Nearly 1am and I’m pretty awake. I was half-asleep at 10:30 tonight, but once I was in bed my brain switched on and woke me up. Now I’m thirsty, hungry, and awake. Fortunately I’ve nowhere to be tomorrow morning, so I can sleep as much as required. I’m pretty sure I managed to not wake Adam up too much – he asked where I was going and I told him I needed a drink. He has to work tomorrow and needs his beauty sleep.
[random aside]We saw Wall-E last week, and it was awesome. Go see it. So little dialogue, so much communication…[/random aside]
So take a wild guess what’s keeping me up tonight (besides hungry, thirsty, itchy, or whatever else has popped up physically speaking to distract me from sleep…) If you guessed “Holy crap I’m going to have a baby in four days” running over and over (with variations) in my head, then you win a cookie (please collect cookie at a later date. We are currently out of cookies.) The C-section still doesn’t bother me, but knowing that at midnight four days from now I will be in the hospital with Adam and our brand new baby is messing with my head just a little bit tonight. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, expecting it even, and now that it’s almost happening I’m not entirely sure what comes next (besides diapers, feedings, cleaning, crying, sleepless nights, and all those other inconvenient things people like to tell you all about.)
I’d probably be crazy if I wasn’t nervous – I am. I’ve been responsible for taking care of this new person in my life for about 9 months now, but it’s going to be a whole different thing when it’s a person in my arms, in my home, in my world. I’m looking forward to meeting this small person. Adam, baby and I are going to be stuck with each other for quite a while – it should be fun and interesting and work.
Being pregnant has been awesome – I’ve really enjoyed it. I’m ready now, though, to not be pregnant anymore. I don’t know if that means I’m ready to call myself a mom yet. Not much choice – it’s happening in four days whether I’m ready or not.