They say you’ll get kinda moody…

… but starting to cry at the slightest of unhappy song lyrics seems a bit excessive. I shall do what I can to deal with this.

Lyra and I are doing quite well a week in – she’s a week and a day old now. She was 6lbs 5oz at birth, and lost 13% of her birth weight in the first couple of days. They were worried about that (they only like to see a newborn lose 10% of their body weight) so I was pumping extra colostrum to supplement her, because she wasn’t getting enough on her own. Being bordeline premature, she was a bit weak and fell asleep while feeding every few seconds or so. It’s a tough workout for a little baby.

We still managed to go home on Saturday, which was nice. The midwives came to see her Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday, to make sure she was gaining weight. In the interim, my milk came in (holy crap that’s an uncomfortable and painful transition) which made nursing much easier for her. She’s been gaining pretty well, so the midwife decided that she doesn’t need to come back until next Wednesday, at the two week mark.

Adam’s mom has just arrived. She’s sitting on the balcony with Adam and Lyra, and Jordy’s playing guitar in the office. I really don’t know what to do with myself – I’m weird and moody and having some pain and entirely not sociable, but I also don’t really want to be left out. Not that I have anything I want to add to things – considering how moody and prone to outbursts of tears I feel right now, I’m really kind of messed up. I guess I don’t want to have to talk to anyone. I also don’t want to be alone. Stupid hormones.

7 Comments

  • madhatter

    July 18, 2008 at 2:52 am

    Deja Vu

    I completely remember feeling exactly as you do right after Fox was born. He was almost identical in weight and had the same problems with nursing at first but once he got the hang of it he did well. I started out moody at first but after three weeks of it I decided I’d better get help. I didn’t want to have to face to choice to medicate or not but in the end I did and was glad I did. I was still able to nurse after the medication because it was a very low dose. Some people don’t get that bad either, you just have to wait and make a choice when it is right for you. But maybe don’t wait as long as I did to make your choice as I did not bond as well with my little man and I was even a little resentful. I bet you just can’t keep your eyes off her! I have to admit she is a very lovely little thing. Take some time for you and catch up on sleep, and put on nice smelling lotions and sip really yummy tea. Hiding out is allowed. You’ll feel better soon. Congrats!!!!!(p.s. I’m Johnboze’s wife)

  • maggi1234

    July 18, 2008 at 4:37 am

    one word….

    Sleep.

    trust me on this…
    hugs Sue

  • jenny

    July 19, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    Oh boy…hang in there girl, and nuzzle that baby as often as possible 🙂

    How’re you handling the breast feeding? That’s the avenue we’re going to try with ours, and I want to pump in the interim to have a supply ready for when I have to return to work (6 weeks off just isn’t very much with a newborn).

    Where’s the pain at? Does it have to do with the birth, or something else?

  • Jenny Lee Silver

    July 20, 2008 at 4:20 am

    Breastfeeding is going better now – it was tough in the beginning because Lyra fell asleep with the effort of feeding, plus waiting for the milk to actually come in felt slow. She’s a lot stronger now, and feeds for longer, and my milk is pretty much in now – we’re working on establishing the supply and demand system now. I was pumping for a while to supplement her. Now the trick is switching from one side to the other before she gets tired out and falls asleep on me.

    Most of my pain is from the incision in my abdomen. I’ve been doing okay with it – down to one painkiller a day, and I’m getting more active now, but with sleep coming in 2-3 hour increments I’m still pretty tired. According to the surgeon, however, I’m recovering really quickly and well.

    By the way, when your milk comes in, it burns like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. Nurse as soon as you can, have a hot pack on hand before you do to soften things up, have a cold pack on hand for after.

  • Jenny Lee Silver

    July 20, 2008 at 4:23 am

    Re: one word….

    Thanks… I’m sleeping when I can, I get about 2-3 hours at a time at the best of times. I’m also trying to sleep when she does, although that doesn’t always work out – sometimes I just lie there trying to sleep, but I guess that’s a bit of rest at the very least. I’m certainly not trying to clean the apartment up or anything – Adam’s taking good care of that.

  • Jenny Lee Silver

    July 20, 2008 at 4:58 am

    Re: Deja Vu

    Hi there… I think we met in Toronto a billion years ago. Pretty sure I remember you.

    I’m utterly in love with Lyra – I can’t quite bear the thought of leaving the house without her at this point. If anything I’m feeling resentful of other people showing up, which is unfair to everyone else and I’m trying to deal with it without alienating people or frustrating Adam with my irrationality.

    I’ve been making efforts to let Adam know how I’m feeling – and I have the information for getting help if I can’t get out of the moodiness. Having a history of depression, I’m hoping to be able to identify it and get help before it becomes a big problem…

    She is starting to nurse well now, though. Almost gets too much sometimes and splutters a bit, which seems to confuse her more than annoy her. 🙂

    Thanks for the comment… it’s good to have people who’ve been through this sort of thing respond.

  • jenny

    July 22, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    Hey lady 🙂

    It’s been a couple of days, are you feeling any better? I have been keeping you and Lyra in my thoughts and prayers 🙂

    Thank you for the tips on nursing. I’m starting to get anxious about our baby being here. I haven’t been sleeping well, and I know it’s just stress :/