I’m sitting in the hospital waiting room again. I’m starting to lose track of how many times I’ve come over to the North Shore for tests at Lion’s Gate or appointments with doctors.
I see all kinds of people here. Children with broken bones, elders confined to rolling beds, adults on crutches, and everything in between. I feel, and look, pretty healthy next to all of them. It’s hard… not because I think they’re looking at me, wondering what I’m doing here, but because I’m looking at them and thinking, most of the time, that I’m relieved that I’m me, and that I’m healthy. Or at least, relatively speaking.
I had lunch with a friend last Friday, and he asked me how I was doing. I replied, “I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been in my entire life… except for the cancer!” and we both burst into laughter for a few minutes. It’s true though. I am the healthiest I’ve ever been, thanks to running and thanks to cutting dairy entirely out of my diet. Hooray for lactose intolerance, I guess, even if I do miss cheese.
I’ve left the hospital now, and this ultrasound is complete. They wanted to check and make sure the random lump the doctor found in my left breast wasn’t related to the lymphoma on the right side of my neck. The doctor came by to look at the results and reassure me that everything was fine – the lump is just a random lump, and nothing to worry about. I really wasn’t all that worried about this one, since my own doctor seemed pretty certain that it wasn’t a big deal, but it is good to confirm it.
When I asked the ultrasound technician if I could take a picture of the pictures of my ultrasound, she said I wasn’t allowed to. And then she left the room to get the doctor, and left the screen up with pictures of my ultrasound, so obviously I did the right thing and didn’t take any pictures of it. Obviously.
Random snippets in transit
I used to take the seabus to and from work every day. It’s been a long time since those days, and it’s kind of nice to revisit this part of our transit system. The sky is varying degrees of grey, and it keeps threatening to rain but not following through today. With the leaves falling and the cooler temperatures, it really feels like autumn is beginning. Autumn makes me happy. It’s always been my favourite season.
Next up is a Thursday appointment with a surgeon, who will want to cut the lemon out of me. The big question is, will they keep me awake or put me under for it? I’m fine with either, but if it’s going to be complicated I’d rather be put under, obviously. I wish they’d let me take pictures of that, but it seems that doctors don’t usually believe me when I say I’m really, truly interested in seeing what’s happening.
My doctor told me to phone her tomorrow afternoon if I haven’t heard from her about my biopsy results. She’s the kind of doctor who will phone the hospital every day to bother them about things like that, which means the 7-10 business days they said it would take may well be shortened. She’d be happy to find out before I go see the surgeon on Thursday, I think. At least then we’d know for sure that it is a lymphoma, and not something else that we’re dealing with. I am under the impression that something else would be potentially harder to deal with, so I can understand her wanting to find out sooner rather than later.
Also, waiting is just annoying.
But for now that’s what I have to do. I’m waiting for biopsy results, I’m waiting to talk to the surgeon, and then I’ll be waiting for surgery, and I’m waiting to find out if I need to have chemotherapy. Even when things move quickly, there is a lot of waiting. I’m just going to try and keep busy in the meantime.
And I’m still posting photos and things at Unfamiliar Ceiling.