but time has no beginnings and history has no bounds…
When I was in high school drama class we once had to research a historical time, write a play about it, and then perform it. We were assigned the building of the trans-canada railroad. I wasn’t much of an actress, I got parts like ‘Rioter’ and ‘dead body #3’ and ‘yelling goverment official in congress with 30 other yelling government officials.’ Our drama teacher had this idea, however, that for the railroad play, we could tie the parts together with parts of Gordon Lightfoot’s Railroad Trilogy (it’s a really long song, tells the story of the building of the railroad.)
I thought nothing of the fact that she asked me to learn the song and sing parts of it a capella for the transitions between scenes. It never occurred to me that she thought I was a good singer, I figured she was just trying to come up with something for me to do so that she wouldn’t have to cast me as a major part of the play. This was, and is still to some degree, my mindset. People didn’t tell me I was good at things, so maybe they just thought that I must know I was good at it, so I didn’t need to be told… Except that I didn’t know, so I thought I was just bad at everything.
I have no idea why I’m thinking about this now. I do know that I make efforts to let people know when they’ve done a good job at something, or when they’ve got talent at something.
What was this journal supposed to be about??