So I’ve written the first prologue to the Talon story. I’ve no idea how it sounds. I read over it, and it sounds like a narrative to me… but it’s supposed to. Someone else will have to read it. I’d give it to Jay, but he’s playing BG2 again. At least he’s getting his money’s worth out of this one, more than I can say he did with Force Commander.

So I’m feeling that again… lost. Completely lost and out of place. Cyn told me to name three things I would love to do. I couldn’t think of one. Everything she named off just wasn’t right.

There is nothing I feel right doing, and I can’t think of anything that makes me feel happy. I went to college because I wanted to get out of Iroquois. I took broadcasting because I got accepted. I left broadcasting and took Music Production because the ex was going to that school for broadcasting… and because I got accepted. And then I failed out of the program because I had a breakdown. So I worked retail for a few years, selling my soul to whoever would buy something from me. Then I got a job doing mindless computer work. And now I’m doing a different kind of mindless computer work, under the guise of computer work that’s supposed to be the opposite of mindless.

So here I am. I never know where I’m going, and it’s hard to reach goals when you can’t even set them.

1 Comment

  • Anonymous

    October 9, 2000 at 1:24 pm

    yup yup yup

    sounds kinda poopy, j.l.

    I do know what you mean though. you get stuck, get wrapped around a few telephone poles that berate you for your inadequacies.

    have you ever considered starting all over, wiping off your slate, and beginning again? maybe you’ve been trapped for so long, you don’t remember you anymore. just a thought.