I’ve been sleeping on and off most of the day. Not real sleep, just that half-sleep you get when you’re sick. I’m not very rested. My doctor’s appointment is in half an hour, though. I should grab something to eat before I go, I guess. I can’t say that I’m particularly hungry. My head hurts. I’m whiny and I don’t care.

I admitted to being scared on the boards at I have a secret… I shouldn’t have. Nobody really wants to hear me bitch about it. I feel like I should go delete it. I can’t admit to being scared or sick or anything… It doesn’t help any, no one really wants to hear it, and people don’t know what to say to me about it anyhow.

Maybe I just want a sort of support network to catch me when I fall? Some group of people to help me back up, tell me I’ll be okay… Promise me that the sky goes on forever and the wind is as real as I am… Hold me in the darkness of my memories where even I cannot tread safely alone.

Could someone please just take care of me for a while? I’m shivering and I have to go out alone in the cold. It’s snowing and I can’t see through teary eyes.

Never mind. I’ll ask for help later. When Jay gets home, he’ll be there. Otherwise, I’ll be okay on my own. Always have been before.


  • magicwoman

    December 11, 2000 at 12:59 pm

    Concerned . . .

    Really sounds like you have had it rough the last week. I worry about you. I hope your doctor’s appointment is soon and that it will be helpful. I know I get stressed out thinking about work, bills, social life, etc. You do have a support system here on the Livejournal. . .

  • daruba

    December 11, 2000 at 1:22 pm

    hey Jenny….

    everything will turn out OK, like someone else said, wouldn’t you rather know what is up than live oblivious to whatever it is that’s causing this distress?