Untitled

So far this week i’ve just been relaxing, trying to catch up on some stuff (like paying a bill I forgot to pay, and getting the kitty litter cleaned… exciting, eh?) and just tried to unwind some. Besides that doctor’s visit thing. I’m glad I’m not out in this weather… have you looked out the window lately?? It’s nasty.

I’m just trying to find some direction now… I’ve learned this year that I’m not the type of person who can have a job that exists for the sole purpose of paying for my bills and hobbies… I honestly need to enjoy what I do. The only problem, now, is figuring out what to do that I might enjoy. Who knows, maybe after a month I’ll think I can handle being back at work. I’m not going to completely throw that concept out the window, but I want to be able to look at everything about myself first. I’ve been feeling burnt out for longer than I’ve been working there, I think.

I’ve never had time off, not since the summer between grades nine and ten. I’ve had summer jobs, and then in college I had jobs or volunteer jobs that never got me anywhere, and then after college I had to work to survive… I spent the past year, since Jay moved in, letting him stay at home and figure out what he wanted to do. Some days I hated it… I felt like I was being taken advantage of or something, because it had happened to me that way before… but most of the time I knew it was just a matter of time until he found something, and now he’s got something that he’s incredibly happy with. So now, I guess, my mind figured I could afford to have a breakdown of sorts. I don’t know yet what will come of all this, but it’s not a bad thing.