I’m finding it a bit strange that my father is talking to Adam’s mother about what he & his wife (my stepmother) can do to help out with the wedding.
I find it strange because I have chosen not to speak to him for the past 8 years. He’s respected that and not tried to talk to me, which is fine. I’m just wondering exactly what’s going on here, since I didn’t really plan to invite him to the wedding. I think my immediately family generally thinks I’m being stubborn and silly for not wanting to speak to him, but I made that decision a long time ago when I was in therapy and going through a whole lot of internalized crap (aka issues) and I have not ever regretted it. The most I’ve felt was regret for a relationship that I should have had with my father, but didn’t, and you can’t go back and do that over. It’s very difficult to go forward from where our relationship stood when I cut off contact with him, and I never felt the desire to put that kind of work into it. Maybe someday I will feel that sort of regret, although if I haven’t even felt glimmers of it at this point, then I don’t know why that should change.
So really, I’m wondering if there are ulterior motives, or if he’s just honestly trying to contribute without expectation of being invited, or what is happening. It’s making me feel very strange.
I’ve sent off the wedding ‘questionnaire’ that the non-denominational minister asked us to work on for him. It took about a week to finish. There were some difficult questions that I had trouble answering, mostly about my spiritual beliefs. I don’t like to talk about my spiritual beliefs with people I don’t know. I have trouble talking about them with close friends, or even Adam. They show up in my writing, but that’s about it.