So I went to the doctor’s office this morning, and he prescribed me with something to prevent my migraines. I came home and read up on this wonder drug, and I am absolutely terrified of trying it. Seriously. The migraines sound like a better option.
Maybe I just overreact, but messing with brain chemistry has long been something that I hesitate to do, especially after my stint on the prozac so quickly prescribed to me back in college. That stuff left me numb and without meaning for a long while. Sure, it helped me realize I had to leave my boyfriend at the time for the sake of my own well-being, but beyond that it was a strange and disconnected experience for me – one I would prefer not to have again.
This stuff I was prescribed today is an anti-seizure medication. It most definitely messes with your brain chemistry, and they don’t really know why it works for seizures or for migraines. Side effects can include weight loss, memory problems, sluggishness, and a general feeling of stupidity and slowness – as if your brain isn’t working properly. I quite like my brain most of the time, when it’s not assaulting me from the inside. Even then, I’d rather not beat it into submission by making myself stupid.
As such, right now I’m hesitant to try the stuff. It’s a preventative, which means take it every day, upping the dosage after two weeks, and so on. You can’t just stop using it, either, you have to wean yourself off it. Kind of scary. It’s also used as an anti-depressant, but they don’t know why it works.
Not sure I wanna be a hamster, even a painfully cute one.